Monday, June 8, 2009

A. T. S.

To the right==>>
Obvious Terrorist Threat Being Scrutinized


A. T. S. = Air Travel Sucks. It ought to be a universal acronymn, like AIDS. What twisted bastard thought up the exquisite torture of airline travel? I would really like to key his car, kick his shins, and strap him into an airplane seat at the back of coach and send him across the country on a five-hour flight. Where do I start to relate my loathing for anything and everything connected with air travel? For starters, it just really steams me that we don't have any other alternative other than the highway for trips such as the one I was just on . . . a trip over 700 miles from home. Then there's the parking at the airport . . . I park a mile away at $4 a day because I don't chose to spend a lot more closer in--a royal pain in the rear especially in bad weather. Baggage check. Boarding passes. Boarding. Exiting. Bathrooms on the plane. Seats in the waiting area. Carry on luggage. All of this is painful to a greater or lesser degree, depending on your temperament, the airport, airline, and/or karma.

And your flight is going to be late over 80 percent of the time. Bank on it. Planes don't run on time anymore. Your seat will be too small--unless you weigh 85 pounds or less and are no taller than 4'9". For the average traveler, not the royalty in first class, there are no amenities. None whatever. Everything that used to be free now costs.

And then there's the utter nonsense and indignity of "security"--hundreds of people forced to take off their shoes, their belts, their coats, their hats and caps, deposit their cell phones, money clips, loose change, etc., etc. in the little bins so they can be scanned. Your carry on is scanned, your purse is scanned, your body is scanned! You can't carry a pocket knife, a lighter, clippers of a certain size. You can't have a bottle of liquid, any liquid, more than 2 oz, or some such ridiculous amount. My wife has to go through all kinds of contortions with her makeup before flying. How can supposedly civilized people put up with this kind of shit? You tell me.

The answer, of course, is that the American people have long since become a nation of helpless sheep. Baaaaa. They're so easy to terrify, you can manipulate them into believing just about any kind of absurdity. Such as, going through airport security is making them safer. That is the last thing it's doing, brothers and sisters. What it's doing is convincing a bunch of ignorant people that this indignity is necessary for their safety, and it's arranging for yet another massive layout of taxpayer dollars against a phantom danger, an employment program for thousands of half-wits, and the handsome financial enhancement of the "security" sector of the economy.

Why don't we just dismantle this sham, and put all these people to work on something the country really needs? I can think of about half dozen things right off the top of my head. Let's start with building affordable, decent housing for people who we house like cattle in places that would insult any self-respecting bovine.
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