The following are quotations from Oklahoma mighty and (mostly) not. What's your favorite? [Warning: it's hard to pick just one.]
- My first response was I should have been No. 1, not No. 7.” — U.S. Sen. Jim Inhofe on Rolling Stone magazine naming him among the “planet's worst enemies” in a cover story on global warming titled “You Idiots!”
- We have enough sex offenders of our own in this county.” — Mickie Hatfield, who lives with his wife on 130 acres in Lincoln County, on a foundation run by a neighbor that provides jobs and living quarters for registered sex offenders.
- The silence was deafening.” — Brent Link in court describing his home after the blind Norman resident beat unconscious his brother-in-law, who had just killed Link's wife, her sister and Link's mother-in-law with a shotgun.
- You're at that age, it's nice to see the guys alive. No one is invincible. We're all going to die.” — Kenny King at a reunion with University of Oklahoma football teammates from the 1970s as one of them, Thomas Lott, was inducted into the Texas High School Football Hall of Fame.
- Don't Taze my granny!” — Lonnie Tinsley in a lawsuit recounting what he told an El Reno police officer before the officer used a Taser to subdue his 86-year-old grandmother, Lona Varner.
- Please don't throw up! Please don't throw up!” — Emcee's plea over a public address system to participants at a bacon-eating contest at Baconalia, the state's first bacon festival, in Enid.
- O'er the land of the free and the home of the Sooners?” — Some University of Oklahoma football fans before kickoff in Norman despite a public address announcer's plea to respect the last line of the Star Spangled Banner on the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.
- I've been in law enforcement 20 years, and this is the first time I've known of anyone that has busted a dog out of jail.” — Hydro police officer Chris Chancellor on a 73-year-old man who was arrested after springing his poodle, Buddy Tough, from the pound using a lawn tractor and bolt cutters.
- Buddy Tough didn't die in vain.” — Joyce Carney, chair of a committee to upgrade Hydro's kennels and change ordinances to keep pets alive for at least 10 days, after public outcry over the poodle being put to death in a makeshift gas chamber using exhaust from a police car.
- Well, I'd like to say ‘Thank you' to my family for being here, and all my friends. Boomer Sooner.” — Oklahoman Jeffrey Landrigan's last words before being put to death in Arizona in the state's first execution since 2007 for a 1989 murder that was part of a robbery.
- I'm not going to admit to anything else here, but obviously you've talked to Betty.” — State Sen. Harry Coates, 60, whose wife is Betty Coates, on allegations he had an affair with a 29-year-old lobbyist.
- Forever & Always Property Of Lord Wraith.” — Tattoo on the back of Nanette Larson, 36, married Utah woman raised as a Mormon who signed a sex slave contract with a man who ended up being charged in Oklahoma County with kidnapping and abusing her.
- God is already in the churches. Why not the bars?” — Oklahoma native Don Sessions on his lawsuit against the federal Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau seeking to continue using the Pledge of Allegiance on cans of his patriotic theme beer, explaining he wants to “put God in every bar in the country.”
Here is the source.
2 comments:
My favorite is "Don't taze my granny!"
I wrote a post about it. You are lucky to have an entire state chock full of comedy material around you.
There is that problem with the post titles again: clicking on the title sends one to a picture of an Easter egg for this post. Must be an Oklahoma thing.
My hands down favorite was the one about God needing to be in all the bars. Granny was second.
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