Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Now Here's Some Comforting News

You don't have to worry anymore, brothers and sisters, the largest corporation in the world is firmly on your side. Wal-mart has joined the front ranks of the anti-terrorist army! The secretary of homeland security (doesn't that strike you as a real creepy name ? I can hear goose-stepping whenever I encounter it.) announced that it has entered into a partnership with the giant retailer to cast millions more eyeballs on everything "suspicious."
At least 200 Wal-Mart stores will roll out security announcements within 24 hours, Wal-Mart spokesman Dan Fogleman said. By month's end, 588 stores in 27 states will be participating in the program. A short video featuring Napolitano will appear on TV screens at select checkout lanes, asking Wal-Mart shoppers to contact local law enforcement to report suspicious activity.
"If you see something suspicious in the parking lot or in the store, say something immediately," Napolitano said in the video. "Report suspicious activity to your local police or sheriff. If you need help ask a Wal-Mart manager for assistance."
And while you're hunting up the store manager, you might just take advantage of the low, low prices. By the way, this idea is going over like a lead balloon with a vast majority of people who've been asked about it. But you can bet that's not going to deter the crazies who are protecting us from the terrorists all around.

Post a Comment