Friday, April 9, 2010

And the Winner Is . . .


Apes! (After us, of course.)

Not long ago a piece in a blog I read regularly asserted that goats were smart animals. Well, I always thought these cloven-footed beasts and their cousins the sheep were among the most stupid of animals. But naturally, being the completely anal person I am when it comes to verification of facts,* I naturally had to go look up information on the intelligence of animals. So I googled "what is the smartest animal" Here are the results from the first half dozen sites that came up. I list them in rough order from smartest on down, along with the position various sites put them in. Speaking of verifying facts, it's not surprise that the sources did not agree. Some of the lists listed more than ten animals and one mentioned only five. Here's what's notable, I think. Only three animals appeared on all six lists. Sure didn't know about those cephalopods. Biggest surprise: sheep! But no goats.

Humans (1)
Primates (1) (1) (1) (1)  // Chimps (1) (2)  // Orangutan (3)
Elephants (2) (5) (4)  (3) (4) (3)
Dolphins (3) (2) (2) (2) (3) (2)
Rats (4) (13) (10)
Monkeys (4) (5)
Crows (6) (6) (5) (6)
Parrots (7) (7) (4) (4)
Sheep (8) (15)
Octopus/Squid (9) (12) (9) (5)
Whales (10) (3) (2) (2) 
Dogs (8) (15) (8) (5)
Cats (9) (5) (9) (5)
Squirrels (11) (7) (7)
Pigs (10) (6) (10)
Pigeons (14) (8)


*One of my less lovable traits according to my dear wife, this compulsion to have things stated correctly. Indeed, life has taught me that the vast majority of people really don't give a rat's ass--if those intelligent rats will forgive the expression--about what the actual facts are. It used to, but no longer does, amaze me that people much prefer their prejudices, cherished misinformation, and delusions to the actual facts. And few will expend the time that's necessary to get their facts straight. This is not a good thing at all, because all discussion about virtually anything has to begin with agreement on what facts are. Admittedly, sometimes facts are disputed, but at the minimum there has to be some attempt to verify them. But I digress.

4 comments:

Montag said...

Goats show their true smarts by keeping a low profile and staying off such "hit lists" that your search came up with.

And about "facts"...
facts are the backdrop for the stories we make up about life. We use facts as stage scenery...such as "earthquakes" recently...and then write the scenarios which we love: Haiti made a pact with the devil, End Times is a-comin', God is angry about same-sex marriage, etc.

It is said that in wars, the victors write the history. Well, in life, those who scream their story loudest write the history.

Unknown said...

Ya think? My family actually used to have a goat for a pet--Sheila, the goat. She was pretty dumb, but I suppose she could've been jiving us all.

Your take on the facts appears to be the same as mine, mostly. I.e., that they don't matter and are pretty much negotiable when it comes to the ones we find useful to prop up our chosen fiction.

Montag said...

Right. Fiction is everything; that's why we are the Age of Entertainment.
Entertainment is structure.......and we need it, just like a hoarder needs "stuff"; to give structure to life.

Unknown said...

Pretty sad thought. That entertainment provides the structure to our lives. Are you thinking things like sports seasons? If so, I'm as guilty as the next guy when it comes to baseball. But then I'm the first to aver that there's much more to life than baseball . . . much more to my life, much more to everyone's life.