So I thought you might like some samples:
- When I asked her why he was out of her league her only response was, "Because I know he won't beat me."
- I just walked in on my mom and neighbor smoking pot and felt so uncool.
- The Soup Kitchen that I volunteered at as a teenager is now my only source of 3 meals a day.
- I have freezer burn on my chest and under my boobs because I reasoned that a popsicle held up in my bra would be a great personal air conditioner.
- My wedding cost $6700 and my divorce cost $16425, both were worth it.
- As I cried in front of the cash register at CVS, a woman pitied me for having my college health insurance expire the day before and paid the $200 fee for my medication, saying "Christmas came early this year."
- I asked my 93 year old Grandmother, who I adore, what she thought life was all about and she replied, "I don't think about those type of things." -- one of my favorites
- I called my dad from my dorm to bitch about my dvd player not working only to be told that my home was on fire
- "I wrote a poem for you," he said, then proceeded to read "Ode to your cleavage."
I will "Occupy Wall Street" tomorrow.