Friday, September 17, 2010

Six Things You Won't Believe . . .

. . . are more legal than marijuana.
Don't ask me how I manage to find such things on the Web, but here's an interesting piece from Yes, I know it's a humor site. But apparently some of the stuff there is strictly the tongue-in-cheek kind of humor. The style at this place is sophomore potty-mouth, but that doesn't kill the message. Check it out. There are plenty of illustrations. That this stuff is not against the law in America doesn't surprise me at all. The moral impulse that decrees one should go to jail for years for possession of small amounts of a mildly hallucinogenic weed is exactly the same one that doesn't have any problem with truly lethally dangerous stuff. Like:

Is the flag on the tank? Or is it just the neighborhood?
  1. A blaster rifle, which you can buy for a couple of thousand bucks. It can send out a 6000 watt pulse, which is enough to "blast small holes in the hardest of metals." Or for a lot less cash, only $300, you can get an S3 Spyder Arctic laser gun . . . which can "light your hair on fire or blind a man at a fair distance."
  2. Real battle tanks. For a thousand bucks in Sherman, Texas, you can rent one and drive it around. (See above.) But for the really serious, you can buy your very own battle tank ($50K) or a Fox Armored Car ($17K), or if you've got a pilot license and a real stash of cash, consider a fighter jet of your very own.
  3. Deadly exotic animals, such as flesh-eating piranha fish--less than $100 for 8 of these suckers. Or perhaps a brown bear or two? (Legal in 7 states.) Or big cats? The article doesn't mention it, but I think extremely poisonous snakes like cobras may also be legal in some states.
  4. Grenade launchers, anti-tank weapons and more. "With enough money or the right license you can buy just about any weapon you've ever seen." Like a 60mm mortar or 20mm anti-tank cannon.

5.  DXM--I never heard of it, but a truly dangerous and legal drug. Numerous deaths have been reported. Over-the-counter cough syrups with dextromethorphan in it. Restricted to the over-18 in a lot of states, but for less than $20 on Amazon you can get yourself "1200 milligrams in 10 milligram capsules."
6.  Crime cookbooks--also available on Amazon, a couple of books with precise recipes for dozens of psycho-tropic drugs. Or how about the extensive availability of dozens of guides for concocting your very own explosives?
    Is this a great country, or what?
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