Friday, October 18, 2013

I'm a Worry Wart . . .

. . . about some things. Not all things. But some things. And right now I'm worried about my relationship with my kids. I'm sure this will pass, but it's where I am at the moment. I usually just worry about them generally, their well being, their futures, but I just am burdened with the thought right now that I'm aging out of their lives. There are three of them, all of them flesh of my flesh in one way or another, but all completely different, too. I find myself in a much less fulfilling relationship with them each one in its own unique way than I had imagined, and, I must admit, it's a source of pain.

Which got me to thinking about the whole subject of suffering, and it just so happens that just in time for church tomorrow, and just in time with my glum mood, Richard Rohr's meditation today really speaks to me. Of course, it speaks to matters far more tragic and painful than my little bout of self-absorbed angst, but it's the perspective for all pain and suffering, and I thought I'd share it with you. Apologies for the gloomy mood. 
Pain teaches a most counterintuitive thing—that we must go down before we even know what up is. In terms of the ego, most religions teach in some way that all of us must die before we die, and then we will not be afraid of dying. Suffering of some sort seems to be the only thing strong enough to destabilize our arrogance and our ignorance. I would define suffering very simply as whenever you are not in control.
If religion cannot find a meaning for human suffering, humanity is in major trouble. All healthy religion shows you what to do with your pain. Great religion shows you what to do with the absurd, the tragic, the nonsensical, the unjust. If we do not transform this pain, we will most assuredly transmit it to others, and it will slowly destroy us in one way or another.
If there isn’t some way to find some deeper meaning to our suffering, to find that God is somewhere in it, and can even use it for good, we will normally close up and close down. The natural movement of the ego is to protect itself so as not to be hurt again. The soul does not need answers, it just wants meaning, and then it can live. Surprisingly, suffering itself often brings deep meaning to the surface to those who are suffering and also to those who love them.
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