Monday, September 9, 2013

So It's Come to This

All I have to do is tell you the title of the article. Ready? "8 College Degrees with the Worst Return on Investment." It comes complete with all kinds of numbers and a screen on methodology. So now all pretense is being dropped. Education, what used to be called "higher" education, is no longer anything more than a consumer item. Something that can be measured by the god Market for his holy marketplace. Your degree is a data point in the ongoing economic analysis of what suits the god and what doesn't. How utterly 21st century! No such thing as intangible, much less unmeasurable in dollars and cents. It's all about ROI, brothers and sisters. And you're just stone nuts if you don't chose your future without keeping your eye on the bottom line.

So sorry if your degree is on this list. It means you're worth nothing. You contribute nothing. Your value can't be measured except in microns. The god has no use for you, and if Market has no use for you, you might as well just throw yourself in front of a train right now. So sorry if you were born with these deviant talents and interests.

So here's the list of the dreaded eight. My deepest condolences if your major is here and condolences with a bouquet if you have cursed by actually earning one of these degrees because it ain't gonna earn you anything but the scorn of your peers who chose much more wisely and got on the money train.

8. Sociology (social worker, corrections officer, chemical dependency counselor)
7. Fine Arts (museum researcher, graphic designer, painter/illustrator)
6. Education (teacher: daycare through high school)
5. Religious Education/Theology (religious educator, chaplain--healthcare, associate pastor)
4. Hospitality/Tourism (meeting/event planner, hotel resident manager, catering manager)
3. Nutrition (dietician, food services manager, food scientist)
2. Psychology (human services worker, career counselor-higher education, bereavement coordinator)
1. Communications (copywriter, news reporter, marketing coordinator)

So there you have it: the abominable eight. Let's see. My daughter's a social worker, so is her mother-in-law. My wife is retired teacher; I've taught and done a lot of church work; my son has a degree in hospitality; I'd love to get a masters in Fine Arts. This family's a mess.

And five will get you ten that if you expand the list, it won't be too long before you get to historian.
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